Good But Not Good Enough

Mood: Depressed
Now Playing: "Thanks For Nothing (Kiss My Ass)"- The Downtown Fiction


I'm not going to waste alot of people's time with this blog, so it's going to be short and to the point for the most part. I'm tired of being good but not good enough if that makes sense. For those of my readers that are new to what I do as a hobby, I write competively and it can be a headache sometimes to say the least.

Recently I've come to this conclusion that I can win at this game when it really doesn't matter but when it does? I choke... I choke hard, and its normally with one of my favorite creations, Jodie Gray... she's my baby. It seems I can do well enough with her when its just a straight up match with nothing on the line but bragging rights... but a big match with big implications? Nope, not going to happen. I get 'it was a great rp, it was highly entertaining and original...'

So... how did I lose?

If it was these two things along with great match relevance how did I lose? WHY do I keep losing?! And people wonder why I'm burned out? They wonder why I don't do segments... why I stop caring... this is why.

Why should I care when everytime I do? I lose... everytime I go all out and bust my ass, get GREAT feedback and still... I lose. No amount of 'I'm sorry' or 'It was so damned close' relieves that sting of being good but not good enough. No amount of 'you'll get it next time' matters to me at this point... 4 times with this character... 4 failures. I'm just not good enough, am I? I take fault for two of those four, I didn't give my all, i admit that... but the last two? I gave myself a fucking migraine from hell staring at my laptop for 10 hours straight and for what? A pat on my back and a 'you'll get it next time, Jer'? Oh and trolling... can't forget the trolling. So by all means, I know some of you will do just that and for those that will troll me over this like you ALWAYS do... I have one last thing to say.

Thanks For Nothing, kiss my ass.

Just A Random Musing

Hello, dear readers it's been awhile has it not? I'm sorry I've not posted a blog in sometime but between losing net access for a week and a half, my laptop wanting to be a dick... and losing a very good friend of mine to a car wreck; let's just say, I've not been able to do one of these things.

But not all is bleak in the world of Jer for a change, shock and awe I know. I just got back from my first ever Warped Tour at VA Beach and all in all it was a great experience as I got to hang out with two very good friends of mine and in the process became a good friend with the 4th member of our merry band of Warped Tour Goers. Many laughs were had at the expense of the other male in our group as we constantly would call him Pinkie Pie as he's a 'closet bronie' and we are trying to let him see there is nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.

Regis, it's 2013, we don't judge. ;)

Also I realized just how wrong I was about 'pop punk' as a genre having let bad experiences with other bands in that genre cloud my judgement; not only did Warped Tour open my eyes and ears to great bands such as The Summer Set, Black Veil Brides, We Came As Romans, and a host of others, but so did Sarah and Shannon. You guys are the best and I thank you for allowing me the chance to broaden my musical tastes, means a lot. And Yes, I am indeed a "The Summer Set" fan and I don't care what others who don't like them think about it.

Damn you, girls... damn you.

I've also come to find that maybe I can indeed move on from my past and be happy again. In fact this is NOT a maybe, I have been extremely happy for the past month and many of you who read this blog may know why. And for those of you who don't, you need to pay more attention. But lets just say, I've had a smile on my face for some time now and I don't expect it to go away anytime soon. Being told you are missed by someone has that kind of effect... being told that a simple text made them smile a derpy smile has that same effect.

I don't know where this road is going to take me in regards to that, but I know where I'd like it to; but one step at a time, no rushing... no more mistakes. I've learned from them all, and this time? In the words of The Summer Set.

I'm catching lightning in a bottle, don't give a fuck about tomorrow! Dancing in the backseat, don't need gravity, here in the afterglow.

This has been a random musing and as always, thank you for reading and until next time... take this little advice from yours truly as it worked for me so far.

#DTDT Do The Damned Thing.

-Jer