Perfectly Imperfect

Now Playing: "Someone Like You" The Summer Set

So for those of you who have read all my blogs, and not just the e-fed ones, you all probably know about my lack of a love life and this blog is going to be along those lines so bear with me and if you only read these for my e-fed ones, you can hit the X at anytime you desire because tonight is just not your night. It's my blog after all and I never promised just to blog about my hobby.

Anyways, you see there is this girl I work with that I kinda... okay, no kinda here, I really really really like her. Just seeing her brightens my day; it's unique given my situation where I was that guy that had basically given up on ever finding someone I'd ever care about again. And for awhile, I just saw her as a friend, this cool yet crazy girl that I got along with and found myself enjoying having conversations with her when the time permitted. But now? Now its becoming more than that and it scares me if I can be honest.

It scares me because of what happened almost two years ago. It scares me because a part of me is nervous about giving myself to someone... scared that I'll just be hurt again. Hell I'm scared that I'm just over thinking things like I tend to do. Seeing things that aren't even there, thinking that there might be a connection greater than being friends. Scared to put myself out there, to go all in... to DTDT, do the damned thing so to speak.

I was asked a few nights ago what I saw in her... and without having to think about it, I answered her personality followed by her looks. She's perfectly imperfect and its the little things she does that make me smile... and not one of those fake smiles I had been putting on for almost two years; but a true smile. And still I'm scared. Because I look at myself and I see nothing worth having her. Nothing of value; sure I'm a 'great friend' and a 'great listener' but I'm no looker. I'm plain... I'm just Jer.

But still I have friends who tell me I should at least tell her how I feel, because in their eyes, I have nothing to lose. They have no clue just how wrong they are. I have alot to lose... my pride, my sense of self worth, damn near everything. You get kicked around enough times and one starts to believe they are worthless; welcome to my world there. I wish this was easy, I wish I could read her like I can read others and am often asked to do for them. But here I am, completely and utterly powerless and it both scares me and excites me. Because for once I have met my match when it comes to doing what I do. It adds another layer to why I really like this girl, not being able to read her like I can do so well on others. Her laugh, her smile, her personality; she's my kinda crazy and yeah... I guess what I'm trying to say is I wish I could say this in person and just be done with it; but factors prevent me from doing so.

And you want to know what the cutest thing is going to be? If she reads this blog... she's so oblivious, she won't know it's about her.

Until next time, this is Jer saying...

[b]You're perfectly imperfect, my love.[/b]

Random Rant

You know, I'm sure some friends of mine are getting kind of sick of having to hear me rant about the little things in life; but I've found it's better to get it out in the open nowadays than just letting it sit and fester there to the point I just explode later on down the road. But then again I let them rant all the time about the same kind of things and I can only face palm or look them right in the eyes and go.

"Well at least you got someone who's interested in you."

Then comes the vacant stares as if I'm lying to them or I'm speaking a Goddamned foreign language. Let me go on ahead and say this one last time and I hope you finally get it through your head and stop trying to bury it in the proverbial sand in some attempt to make it go away. If everyone including their parents are telling you what I've been telling you; guess what, sweetheart, it's true. No amount of closing your eyes, placing your fingers into your ears, and shaking your head is going to change that fact. You know what is going to kill it though? No, it's not me trying to wake you up and trying to make you make a move. Nor is it your other friends looking out for you, trying the very same thing. This is the part you need to listen to me very very closely because it's been needed to be said for some time now and frankly I'm done sugar coating it; I'm fucking done trying to let 'nature run its course'.

YOUR INABILITY TO ACT ON IT WILL BE THE DEATH OF IT.

You see us males, we are but simple creatures, sweetheart. We have basic needs and functions in life; and unlike you ladies; we don't like 'hard to get'. Believe it or not, we like upfront, blunt, and fucking honesty. If you like us, fucking tell us. You don't like us? Fucking tell us. You want to fuck us? Well by golly gee you got it, TELL US. Don't beat around the damned bush; don't twiddle your damned thumbs; because inability to act on things cause us to believe you are not interested and thus we just go about our merry way oblivious to what you truly wanted. We don't do bread crumbs that lead to the end goal. We might like video games; but we don't like GAMES you ladies like to play with us. Believe it or not some of us guys, we can get the hint and we'll gladly leave you the fuck alone if you just say so. Hell, we'd gladly go out on a date with you, if you actually asked us as well.

You are socially awkward? Well guess what, so is he! This is weird for you? It is for him too. But you know what? Just sitting there being able to say this shit in private to me or to twitter or to whatever other social media platform in which he doesn't use is not going to truly help if you can't say it to him! I'm tired of having to hear about it. I'm tired of reading it. I'm tired of the 'OMG what if he hears?!' I'm just fucking tired of this beating around the bush. Either shit or get off the fucking pot!

You may not like me doing this; but obviously my own brand of bread crumbs didn't work for you. And if that didn't work for you. Why do you expect yours to work for him?

Think about that...

oh and while I'm at it...

Yes I'm a miserable piece of shit sometimes; but Goddamn it, I'm still your friend and if I can't be fucking happy; I at least want YOU to be happy with him. But that's never going to happen until you act.

-Random Rant over.

-Jer

Efed Character Spotlight #1

Hello one and all to my first blog since July and tonight I am bringing you a blog series I promised you all some months back and that's the efed character spotlight series where I will be bringing to light a character I enjoy and believe needs to have their name out there more for the rest of you all to see. Now before I begin let me explain how this is going to work; I'm going to go to random efeds both on my own and from viewer suggestions to find a character and will then read up on them ranging from their promos to their segments and to their matches just to give you my viewers a small taste of what they are capable of and what to expect from this character. So without further ado... let's get this show on the road shall we?

Now for my first spotlighted character, I'm sure many of you probably expected me to go to my former competitve fed of FFW or even to my current angle fed of SVW, you'd be wrong. No, tonight I've ventured to another old stomping grounds of mine because as the saying there goes.

"I'm a sinner... and once a sinner, always a sinner."

Yes I'm talking about the efed hall of fame earning Sin City Wrestling which is lead by an incredible staff which includes Sabra and Zoe Thorne. But the character I've chosen from there is neither of them... no, the character I've picked is someone I feel has great potential to be a big time player there and if they keep up the passion and the drive I've seen of them, they'll get there in no time.

Yes I am talking about Benjamin "Don't Call Me Benjy" Peterson! Here is a guy who was enamored by pro wrestling and wanted to one day perform on the big stage like his idols Jack Hondo and Torch. Right now if you look at him; you'd probably think nothing is menacing about a guy who gets angry because people call him Benjy but once the bell rings; all that disappears and you soon realize just how hungry Benjamin is; he becomes an animal in the ring, using a fast paced barrage of attacks that very few can keep up with and the ones who can are still feeling it the morning after.

What I really like about this character is the fact that one... he's a heel who believes he's 'the good guy', it's a classic gimmick that has withstood the test of time and is a far cry from the types of heels we normally see out there today. Another thing I enjoy is the fact he is very much a hypocrite; damning the actions of Adrien Specter all the while praising Doug E. Fresh, who if you know your SCW history is far from being the noble and just man that Benjamin believes him to be. His arrogance knows no bounds and even though he was eliminated in the five on five tag match at Legacy; he still claims victory because his team won. It's beautiful and he's the type of heel you WANT to see get his ass kicked and not the type you just want to go away because they've overstayed their welcome.

Now for a bit of an rp he recently did... these few lines right here show you just how impactful words can be when used correctly and showcases the Benjamin character in one little thought bubble.

His eyes scan the table, searching for guidance from any of the four more experienced wrestlers. The childlike, dewy-eyed rookie moves from one to the other around the table. Meanwhile, Mr. Fresh begins. He talks of free-will and he mentions the Sinistry. Their days are over, he states. Benjamin arches his eyebrows, scepticism running rampant.

We’re supposed to believe that he’s not trying to install another Sinistry? I don’t care. If I help the guy back to the top, he’s going to take me with him. The reward outweighs anything else.

And that right there in a nutshell shows you the true motivation of Benjamin Peterson. He wants to be at the top of the food chain and is willing to deal with the devil himself to get there. That's a dynamic that I can dig and also get behind as a reader. It's part of the reason I chose Mr. Peterson to be my first choice for the spotlight. The character deserves it and more importantly the handler does as well. 

Right now I'm going to wrap this up and do ask that if you think there is a character I should do my next spotlight on, by all means let me know; the only rule is this... once a character in a fed has been spotlighted I will not pick another character from that fed for at least five blogs in this series to make it fair for the other feds out there as well.

If you'd like to read more about Benjamin Peterson, you can by going to this little link here.

Sin City Wrestling


Tell them Jer sent you thanks to the efed character spotlight.

Until next time, this is Jer saying thank you for reading and I'll be back with my next efed character spotlight very soon.

-Jer

Good But Not Good Enough

Mood: Depressed
Now Playing: "Thanks For Nothing (Kiss My Ass)"- The Downtown Fiction


I'm not going to waste alot of people's time with this blog, so it's going to be short and to the point for the most part. I'm tired of being good but not good enough if that makes sense. For those of my readers that are new to what I do as a hobby, I write competively and it can be a headache sometimes to say the least.

Recently I've come to this conclusion that I can win at this game when it really doesn't matter but when it does? I choke... I choke hard, and its normally with one of my favorite creations, Jodie Gray... she's my baby. It seems I can do well enough with her when its just a straight up match with nothing on the line but bragging rights... but a big match with big implications? Nope, not going to happen. I get 'it was a great rp, it was highly entertaining and original...'

So... how did I lose?

If it was these two things along with great match relevance how did I lose? WHY do I keep losing?! And people wonder why I'm burned out? They wonder why I don't do segments... why I stop caring... this is why.

Why should I care when everytime I do? I lose... everytime I go all out and bust my ass, get GREAT feedback and still... I lose. No amount of 'I'm sorry' or 'It was so damned close' relieves that sting of being good but not good enough. No amount of 'you'll get it next time' matters to me at this point... 4 times with this character... 4 failures. I'm just not good enough, am I? I take fault for two of those four, I didn't give my all, i admit that... but the last two? I gave myself a fucking migraine from hell staring at my laptop for 10 hours straight and for what? A pat on my back and a 'you'll get it next time, Jer'? Oh and trolling... can't forget the trolling. So by all means, I know some of you will do just that and for those that will troll me over this like you ALWAYS do... I have one last thing to say.

Thanks For Nothing, kiss my ass.

Just A Random Musing

Hello, dear readers it's been awhile has it not? I'm sorry I've not posted a blog in sometime but between losing net access for a week and a half, my laptop wanting to be a dick... and losing a very good friend of mine to a car wreck; let's just say, I've not been able to do one of these things.

But not all is bleak in the world of Jer for a change, shock and awe I know. I just got back from my first ever Warped Tour at VA Beach and all in all it was a great experience as I got to hang out with two very good friends of mine and in the process became a good friend with the 4th member of our merry band of Warped Tour Goers. Many laughs were had at the expense of the other male in our group as we constantly would call him Pinkie Pie as he's a 'closet bronie' and we are trying to let him see there is nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.

Regis, it's 2013, we don't judge. ;)

Also I realized just how wrong I was about 'pop punk' as a genre having let bad experiences with other bands in that genre cloud my judgement; not only did Warped Tour open my eyes and ears to great bands such as The Summer Set, Black Veil Brides, We Came As Romans, and a host of others, but so did Sarah and Shannon. You guys are the best and I thank you for allowing me the chance to broaden my musical tastes, means a lot. And Yes, I am indeed a "The Summer Set" fan and I don't care what others who don't like them think about it.

Damn you, girls... damn you.

I've also come to find that maybe I can indeed move on from my past and be happy again. In fact this is NOT a maybe, I have been extremely happy for the past month and many of you who read this blog may know why. And for those of you who don't, you need to pay more attention. But lets just say, I've had a smile on my face for some time now and I don't expect it to go away anytime soon. Being told you are missed by someone has that kind of effect... being told that a simple text made them smile a derpy smile has that same effect.

I don't know where this road is going to take me in regards to that, but I know where I'd like it to; but one step at a time, no rushing... no more mistakes. I've learned from them all, and this time? In the words of The Summer Set.

I'm catching lightning in a bottle, don't give a fuck about tomorrow! Dancing in the backseat, don't need gravity, here in the afterglow.

This has been a random musing and as always, thank you for reading and until next time... take this little advice from yours truly as it worked for me so far.

#DTDT Do The Damned Thing.

-Jer

Inspired Jer.

::The End Is Here::
(on-camera)

Life is much like an odyssey; each loss, each gain, and every ounce of pure agony you are put through are but chapters in your own personal story. And death? Well.. death is finally finding your way home.

-----Katherine Anne Stryfe

A solemn scene is placed before the viewers at home as they are shown what appears to be a funeral home, it was devoid of any mourners, even though a preacher clad in his garb could be seen standing in front of an open casket; where a single wreath was sitting on a table beside it. There were no other flowers of condolences to be seen anywhere. And as the camera panned closed to the casket, it would find that the person inside was Katherine Stryfe herself, the Evolution Championship draped over her body with the utmost care in the world. It must be sad to realize that this was how it would be viewed; that not a single soul gave a damn.

The preacher coughed a bit to clear his throat as the camera went up to focus on him and him alone. He adjusted the collar on his garb, before he placed a pair of glasses over his eyes; coughing once more, the preacher slowly opened up a book; his eyes glancing down at it for but a brief second before turning his attention to the camera.

“Dearly beloveds we are gather here today to not mourn the passing of Katherine Anne Stryfe, but to celebrate her life. I could tell you many things about, Mrs. Stryfe and her many accomplishments in her storied career as a professional wrestler. I could tell you how she fought valiantly to defend the Intensity title, her very first title she had ever won in the EWC, setting a record reign that would stand until the company’s closing; a reign that saw her join that very company’s hall of fame. I could tell you how she along with her best friend, Emma MacNamara, formed Nightmare, Inc, a legendary tag team that would set the benchmark for other all women teams to be placed against; whether it was in EWC, CWC, or even for the short time they tagged together there in FFW; netting them back to back tag team of the year honors in the CWC itself. I could also tell you how she would then lead a rookie in Rebbecca Valentine as the Eternal Flame to a Unity reign, another one that would net her, her third tag team of the year honor. I could tell you how Mrs. Stryfe was as of this wake, the only FFW Grand Slam Champion in that company’s almost four year history. But I won’t...”

The preacher adjusts his glasses, his eyes blinking a few times before he coughed once more.
“Because to many of her peers, she’s un-deserving of this praise; that she should not be honored for these accolades, and instead she should be mocked at any turn they can get. That she is not to be praised, nor to be respected because in their eyes, she was a rotten human being devoid of any talent, of any redeeming qualities. They hath judged her of this and they are ever vigilant in reminding the masses of this. The likes of Wendy Briese, a woman who calls herself a good Christian woman with wholesome values verbally berated and judged Mrs. Stryfe not too long ago; before they were set to have a match. But what Mrs. Briese did not know was that Mrs. Stryfe WAS a good woman with a kind heart to those who called her friend or family. She would give the shirt off her back for a friend in need; going so far as to extend the Olive Branch to rebuild her friendship with Miss. MacNamara after over a year of the two of them not being on speaking terms; for she knew it was the right thing to do.”
He looked around the empty room as if he had an actual audience; even though there was none to be seen. He glanced back down at his book, adjusting the glasses once more before he continued on.
“We all know that Mrs. Stryfe was opinionated but who isn’t? Who deep down inside can honestly claim they agree with every decision by anyone at any time? Surely those who called into question, Mrs. Stryfe’s own opinions cannot claim this because that right there shows they did not agree with something she had made a decision on. Mrs. Stryfe for all her faults which there were many, because she was but a human and all humans fall short before the grace of God; she still lived her life to the best of her abilities, doing all she could to provide for her son, Matthew. To ensure he had food in his stomach, warm clothes on his back, and a roof over his head. I could tell you what her son meant to her, but again I fear many of you simply do not care; nor will you ever care. I want to leave you all with this poem written by Emily Bronte.”
The preacher turns the page in his book and finds the poem he was going to read as the camera pans on to the body of Katherine Stryfe, her eyes closed. The preacher’s voice soon bellow the following.
“No coward soul is mine,No trembler in the worlds storm-troubled sphere:I see Heavens glories shine,And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.
O God within my breast.Almighty, ever-present Deity!Life -- that in me has rest,As I -- Undying Life -- have power in Thee!
Vain are the thousand creedsThat move mens hearts: unutterably vain;Worthless as withered weeds,Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,
To waken doubt in oneHolding so fast by Thine infinity;So surely anchored onThe steadfast Rock of immortality.
With wide-embracing loveThy Spirit animates eternal years,Pervades and broods above,Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.
Though earth and man were gone,And suns and universes ceased to be,And Thou wert left alone,Every existence would exist in Thee.
There is not room for Death,Nor atom that his might could render void:Thou -- Thou art Being and Breath,And what Thou art may never be destroyed.”
And as the preacher said the final line, Katherine’s eyes opened up and she slowly raised her body out of the casket, clutching onto the Evolution Championship with pride. She showed no emotion on her face as she turned her body to the side to look directly at the camera.
“I figured as much as you all bury me, I’d give you a reason to finally do so for a change. With that being said, I want to get this out of the way and it’s going to be very quick and very provoking and more than likely piss the intended target off but who cares? This is MY time and MY promotional video so I can say whatever I bloody feel like saying. Fuck you, Ryan Mackenzie. Fuck you for making what happened to my husband seem like I was out for a pity party; fuck you for well… being you. You are a disgrace to the human race and I hope… no I PRAY that the day YOU die, I can do the same to whomever you may or may not be married to. On second thought, actually I wouldn’t do that because UNLIKE you, I have class!”
Katherine adjusted the Evolution Title over her shoulder, slowly removing the make-up she had applied to her face for the mock funeral; showing her bare natural pale skin, and the outlining of the scar that had crawled up the right side of her neck line.
“With that out of the way, I can finally get to the more important matters at hand. Relentless it’s going to be Eileen Amaro going one on one with me in an I Quit match for my Evolution Championship. I don’t think many of you realize what that actually entails do you? The actual meaning, the ideal, or the little nuances surrounding this very match. Here you have Amaro, the girl that just doesn’t stop! The girl that had a panic attack on live TV and against the doctor’s wishes, went out on Byte This and wrestled against three other women to secure a victory… Amaro is a terminator, let’s not mince words here, I respect her enough to call her for what she truly is… a living breathing terminator come to life. And on the opposite side of the spectrum you have me, a woman who has NEVER uttered the words “I Quit” in her entire life. A woman despite the world’s best efforts to put her down has kept rising up from the ashes to be born anew, unwilling to relent, unwilling to give it up… UNWILLING TO BE STOPPED! I have had career threatening injuries to both my neck and my shoulder and still here I stand tall as YOUR Evolution Champion and whether you like hearing it or not, because frankly I don’t give a toss… YOUR ONLY Grand Slam Champion in FFW History! That’s not being a hack, that’s not lucking into it… that’s called hard work and sacrifice. That’s called never saying I Quit!”
The Beautiful Nightmare slowly made her way out of the casket as the preacher had long since made his exit to give her the floor so to speak. Katherine made her way behind where he once stood and placed the Evolution Championship over the pulpit and eyed the camera with a conviction not seen in her eyes for many, many months.
“So, what happens when a Terminator meets an unstoppable Nightmare in a match type that truly benefits neither competitor? Chaos is what happens, uncontrollable chaos the likes this company has never seen before and I promise you this, the likes you’ll never see again. Because this match is not about ego, it’s not about ‘pride’… it’s about two women who respect one another enough to look each other in the eye and DARE the other to make them utter those words but knowing full well, they’re going to need to damn near kill the other to make them do it. It’s about fighting our hearts out, clawing tooth and nail for just that ONE brief second of immortality in this business. For that one brief moment in time where we will have that audience captivated by what we are doing to each other and all in the name of being called Evolution Champion… it’s going to be like a train wreck that you know you shouldn’t be looking at, but you just can’t help but do it.”
Katherine looked at her Evolution title and just blinked her eyes, patting the belt gently before she continued on with her speech.
“I have all the respect in the world for Amaro, if I didn’t, I’d have said it by now. She has talent, she can scrape with the best of them; and she has this attitude of never giving it up, despite never winning a championship here in FFW, despite not being able to get over that one small hump, that one little hurdle. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, mind you; and I don’t say this to mock her. I say this because it’s the truth… it’s cold and it’s bitter, but it’s the truth. Much like I can say that for the longest time when I first got into this business; I thought I’d never win a title either, because when one loses to Bryan Deas in their debut match, one starts to REALLY doubt themselves. But here I am now; I’ve made one hell of a legendary career for myself and I have no doubts that Amaro will too… just not tonight.”
There was no mocking tone in The Beautiful Nightmare’s voice, it was almost a somber one, the kind often reserved for close friends or relatives when one must give them bad news. Katherine was getting no enjoyment out of this and it was obvious by her body language alone.
“No tonight I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that I walk in Evolution Champion and I LEAVE Relentless still your Evolution Champion. I want you to take note that I did not say walk out, because I have no doubt in my mind that I won’t be walking out after my match with Amaro… I’ll be lucky if I remember much of it after it’s all said and done. But like any wrestler worth their weight in salt, I’m expecting to win tonight. No matter the cost, no matter the pain, the agony, and the blood loss, I’m expecting to still be the Evolution Champion when its all said and done. I know it’s going to take everything in my bag of tricks and THEN some to get her to say those two words; much like she knows the same with me. But I will not go down without a fight! My defiance shall be a roar, not a whimper and if Amaro lets up for even a second, I’m going to take over and never look back. I will do whatever it takes, Amaro, I hope you understand that… and respect that. I am not going to pull any punches and I’m not going to take you lightly, because that is stupid and foolish and all those who have done so have fallen victim to you.”
Katherine Stryfe almost smiled as she said the words; it was unlike her to be like this. Respectful to anyone not named Valerie or even Emma… but here she was, doing just that for Eileen Amaro. Her eyes blinked as a free hand gently traced across the necklace that hung from her neck.
“I know tonight is going to be hell for the both of us. Tonight it all ends one way or another… either my reign as FFW Evolution Champion ends; or you being able to challenge for a singles title ends… at least for a year. Those are high stakes for the both of us, Amaro, those are stakes that lesser women would crumble under the pressure of having to deal with. But we are not lesser women are we? We know, the both of us know that tonight we are going to put it all on the line; our very bodies will be battered, our careers further shortened and all because this is what we want to do… it’s all we know HOW to do. To be wrestlers… to be warriors. And for me, to be a champion. I respect you, Amaro, but I don’t fear you. For to fear is to show weakness and I am FAR from weak; I told you flat out that I would have but one regret in this business and that was denying you your first gold here in FFW… well that all changed when Saint added her little stipulation… now I’ll have two; denying you the chance to challenge for a title for a year. I will take no pleasure in this, Amaro, but business is business and I will not be stopped now.”
Katherine stepped away from the pulpit, grabbing the Evolution title as she did so and when she reached the casket, she looked at it and got back inside, laying down; her eyes looking straight at the camera.
“Amaro… I told you, you have but one rule to follow tonight… if I live, you lose. I meant that, Amaro.; you are going to have to damn near leave me lifeless if you want the Evolution Championship… you’ll need to pry it from COLD….DEAD….HANDS! Tonight the end is here but for now… I have but one final request should I not make it out of here tonight.”
The camera panned in closer as Katherine closed her eyes, a smile finally forming on her lips as she caressed her Evolution Championship with pride and joy.
“Let Me Rest In Peace!”
SLAM! 
The casket slams shut and a louder thump is heard as the preacher’s hand is seen on the casket and he coughs.
“Amen…”
Fade to black…

To Fedheads: Helpful Advice From A Rper

I'm just going to go right on ahead and tell you all reading this blog, this will not be kind; it will be harsh and feelings more than likely are going to be hurt; but this is something that needs to be said and I do hope that you all realize that this is coming from both a personal account and from an outsider looking in. Perception is a killer and let me tell you, dear readers... there are some fedheads that are allowing perception to kill their feds. To paraphrase this and to keep the introduction as short as humanly possible...

STOP THE BIAS!

Look, I get it, you as a human being will make friends with some of your players... maybe with ALL of your players, so if the latter is the case, Bias shouldn't be an issue... but for there are times where its the former and bias can and will creep in. Find me a fedhead that claims they aren't bias towards a certain handler when ALL evidence points to the opposite; and I'll call them a liar. Now I'm not saying don't make friends with your players at all... what I am saying however is this and simply this if you are a judge?

DONT Judge their matches.

I'm sorry, you can't be unbias at this point... espically if they happen to be family, a friend, or even a lover. YOU... CAN...NOT....BE....UNBIAS! Some of you have proven this beyond a shadow of a fuckin' doubt and frankly, I just shake my head at you and go 'why are you a fedhead?'

This also goes for handlers you don't like for some reason or another. DON'T JUDGE THEIR FUCKIN' MATCHES! There are times where I, as a guest judge in matches have declined to vote for fear of being bias towards a certain party; whether its because I was dating the handler of the character, where the outcome would effect a future match of mine aka a challengers match for a title I held, OR I had personal issues with the handler and again... I refused to judge just to avoid possibly being bias.

Case in point recently, I was having issues with a certain handler in FFW (which has since been squashed and we are all gravy baby) and I asked to not judge their matches at a PPV just so a potential call of 'bias' could not be lobbied. On that SAME event, another judge in the SAME match asked to not judge because he was having issues with THE OTHER handler in that match. I respected his decision to not judge that match alongside me as did our fedhead.

You know what else you shouldn't do if your fedhead? And here is where the feelings are going to be getting hurt and frankly I don't care because it needs to be said. Never under ANY circumstances start up a fed and then push a friend of yours to the moon because the two of yours former fedhead didn't think they were main event material. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

Because maybe that former fedhead was right? Maybe just maybe your friend is not the best there is you think they are? Did you stop to think about that, of course not. You are too busy starting up a fed, rubbing your hands together and laughing like a maniac and thinking to yourself...

I'll teach that former fedhead... yeah, I'll show them how wrong there were about *insert handler here*!

You are just going to cause drama and friction from the rest of the roster once they realize what's going on and they can see for a fact they'll never get a fair shake in your company because you have some stupid ass agenda to try and get over. It's childish and its going to cause strife amongst your friend and the rest of the roster once they see it and trust me... they WILL see it, if they don't already do.

My final point I want to make here and please take this advice to heart as I'm not trying to be a dick just to be a dick. I'm being a dick to try and save your fed before everyone up and leaves it because you are too blind to your own bias actions. Do me a small favor okay?

Stop being a fedhead for a brief second, play pretend and act like you are one of us... or better yet were an outsider looking in and you happen to notice the following things...

1: The fedhead has his friends holding all the gold is always IN title contention for the titles in the company.

2: The fedhead himself has a character and is winning matches and not helping to put over his roster.

3: You hear the grumblings of the roster about how such and such is always getting such and such and all because of the fedhead liking them.

Now answer me this question? Would you join that fed? No... no you wouldn't. So why should I? Why should your roster stay if you act like this? Oh and to certain people about to embark to a fed... I have but one final thing to say to you... and in the words of Cascada's famous song said in my own personal way.

"EVACUATE THE E-FED! IT'S INFECTED BY THE BIAS! STOP, THIS SHIT IS KILLING ME! HEY, MR. FEDHEAD YOU ARE RUNNING YOUR FED INTO THE GROUND!"

-Jer

Letter To A Friend

Dear friend,

 Do you remember the times we would just chitchat until 4 am or later even though we both had work that morning? Going so far as to buy me minutes for my pay-as-you go account for All-Tell because we accidently talked so much in ONE day it ate all my minutes for the MONTH up... Do you remember when you came to me to bounce ideas back and forth, not just with the characters we ran together, but for feuds, storylines, etc. I do, I remember them as if it was only yesterday. 

By now you know who you are, the friend I am talking to. I won't say your name, there is really no need to. I want you to know I miss how we once were. We called each other brothers for christ sake and now... now I don't even think you consider me much of anything sometimes. From tearing down creations that took me ten years to build to their prominance in only a matter of minutes and all because I messed up and didn't do a segment. That hurt, you have no clue how much that hurt me. That you would do that to a 'brother' let alone a friend. To me repeatedly asking when I will get to do something and watching as someone else gets to do their third one; again that hurt me alot.

Maybe you didn't realize it would have that kind of effect on me. Maybe you didn't think I'd take it personally what you had a character of yours do. It happens, I know there are times I've done things I didn't realize would effect someone negatively. I know the segment thing was not truly personal, but it hurt me nonetheless because I never expected you of all people to do that kind of segment directed souly at my creations.

I've held that in for over a year now, its been that long festering inside me; spatting at me, and taunting at me. I don't say this because I'm angry; I'm not angry anymore... I've been over it. I'm just now at the point where I can say it and not sound bitter about it.

I miss what we once were; I don't really know what changed or why it did. But I have a feeling I know what it was, and for that; I can only shake my head; not just at that but at myself for allowing something as trivial as FAKE characters and storylines interfer with a friendhship... a brotherhood. I hope if you read this, you are shaking your head too because of the notion that fake characters has basically torn us apart.

In closing my dear friend, I want us back to what we once were. I want us to be brothers again. I want to feel like I matter in not only our little game with you, but that I matter to you personally. Because you matter to me, you've always mattered to me... because if you didn't dear friend?

I'd have left when the Exodus occured too.

If you read this, I'm ready... willing... and able to repair this. You know how to reach me. 

I love you, brother.

-Jer

Hello Universe, I See You've Adopted A 'Fuck, Jer" Motto

Let me preface this by telling you that overall I'm happy with my life. I got a steady job that pays my bills and allows me the luxary to enjoy my hobbies from time to time. I have amazing friends both out in the real world and on the interwebs. But there is something missing in my life and with me realizing that I'm about to turn 30 in 34 days... yeah, I'm starting to get that fear I'm going to become the one thing I never wanted to become.

That bitter single man that is doomed to be forever alone and honestly I feel I'm the one to blame for this. I wasn't single a year ago, I had someone I truly loved and saw myself marrying; we won't go into details of why that ended because honestly its in the past and she and I are better off now. I'd dare to say we are much closer as friends then we were during the final year of our relationship.

It's not for a lack of trying to move on, lord knows I've tried... and tried...and tried... only to run smack into a brick wall in some shape, form, or another. First one was at a friend's house warming party; she was beautiful, witty, and overall we hit it off to the point it was one of those so real it was unreal connections. Yeah that's fine and dandy had it not been for the fact she lives out of state... and she was the ex of the friend who's house warming party it was. Yeah... moving on.

Others would pass, none worth really mentioning, outside the batshit insane one I met off a dating website. NEVER again, oh God never again. Pictures can be a lie, folks, I learned THAT the hardway.

Recently there was this girl at work I was truly interested in and in the most poetic 'Fuck, Jer' moment the universe EVER pulled on me; she seemed interested in ME but before we could even get past that awkward feeling out phase, she was let go for having a tongue ring... fuck you, Walmart, and 'fuck Jer' because he was stupid enough to NOT ask for her number... and on the off chance she happens to catch this blog some how...

Leah, thanks for the Resse Cup and I'd like to go out for coffee sometime; you know where to reach me.

Yeah like THAT'LL happen; it'll just be another "Fuck Jer" moment. Just like it's 'Fuck, Jer' that tonight a friend of mine let it be known he was talking to a new girl that I just so HAPPENED to be interested too. Starting to see the trend here? I know I sure as fuck am.

Lets not even get started on someone else I have my eye on; that'll never happen so its not worth trying, I just know it. Too much alike, too 'perfect' so to speak. My 'equal' if you will when it comes to the battle of wits.

Sorry for this rant, I just had to get it off my chest. I promise my next blog will be about our little efed hobby, hopefully. Until then, this is Jer saying good night and Universe...

Can I PLEASE catch a break?!

Teaser For Natasha

"Jesus fuckin' christ, this heat! Could you not have found somewhere else to look for this 'treasure', Michael?" 

A young man's voice broke through the silence that had been implemented well before this little trip ever began. It was painfully obvious that the man was ill prepared for such an undertaking as he was clad in all black and was missing one key piece of gear when one treks through a rain forest; a hat. The others in the group stopped and looked at him before they turned their collective attentions to the man who was leading this expedition. Wearing a white shirt with khaki shorts, Michael A. Coffer turned his head to look at the poor soul who was panting, devoid of water as he had foolishly drank his entire canten ten minutes into the trip.

"Now I will have you know, sir, that according to my credible source, this is the only place where the treasure I seek is at. For another thing, you are not to call me, Michael, only my dearest of friends can call me by that name, and you sir are far from a friend. You are but hired help and you will address me as Mr. Coffer, am I made clear?"

His voice had a Southern drawl to it, the kind that could send chills down the base of a lesser man's spine; but was unassuming enough no one would think twice of his motives. Michael for all intents and purposes was a 'business man' but in the real world, when he was by himself, he was cold and very much calculating in all he did. He had been born into money only to lose the majority of it on one bad bet; a bet he now wished he had never taken. Now Michael Coffer found himself using what was left of his fortune to travel here into the rain forest, looking for a 'treasure' that an old friend of the family told him he would find.

"Yes, Mr. Coffer, I am sorry." The young man replied, showing just how timid he truly was; Michael could only smirk as he turned his attention back towards the direction he was previously looking at. What these poor souls did not know was that Michael had no intentions of splitting the wealth with his hired help, why split it between five other people, when he could just be rid of them all and take it all for himself.

You see accidents happened around Michael... bad accidents; the kind that left men and women dead. And he was very good at keeping his hands clean of such affairs.

"Mr. Coffer, how much longer will we be out here? Steven is going to need water soon." 

Michael did not turn his head, opting instead to continue his trek, ignoring the question that was asked of him by the only female in their group; she was the 'bleeding-heart' varity and the type that Michael saw very little use for. "Give him your own water if you truly care for his well being, Miss." He finally answered, once more keeping it on a formal level; no need to become attached to them and to learn trival details such as their names.

They'd all be dead soon enough anyways.

And off in the distance, further into the rain forest, a young woman was watching all this transpire from atop a tree, her head tilting to the side; as if examining them all. She moved one hand towards them, as a bird flew away from her side.. and below them, a snake began to slither towards the uninvited guests as well. 

This woman showed no emotion on her face as her eyes blinked only once before she started to climb down the tree; these six invaders would be dealt with just like all the ones who came before them. Her bare feet touched the ground before she kelt down into a crouch, slinking behind the tree, placing her hand on it. They would be near her soon enough and one by one; they'd be taken care of.

The bird screeched off in the distance and the girl looked up as the scream of Steven soon followed suit. The snake had done it's job. One down... five to go. She was this forest's guardian and she'd protect it from the invaders, and what they were looking for; they would never find.

But what she did not know was... she was the treasure Michael seeked out and just like any shrewed business man would; he always got what he wanted...

always...

Match Writing 101

So you think you have what it takes to be a match writer do you? You've been given the greenlight from your fedhead in question and have just recieved your very first match! Exciting times are ahead for you as you get to blaze a trail of awesome match writing and getting praised for your skills by your peers...

Stop right there.

Let me tell you from experience, don't expect praise from your peers, EVER. Matching writing is one of the most thankless jobs one can undertake in this game of ours. In fact about the only person who's going to thank you or praise you is your fedhead. I've been lucky the few times I've actually gotten thanked by someone other than Mark(FFW/SVW), Adam(SCW when I was there and wrote a few matches for them), and a host of others I've written for in the past. And to those who thanked me, allow me this chance to thank you all personally.

Cori, Rod, Cory, Roberta, Mina, Josh, and Emma; THANK YOU for appreciating what I wrote for you guys and gals; means the world to me, it truly does.

Moving on. As I said and this is the key to remember; if you are expecting praise for your work from your peers, be prepared to be disappointed. With that being said, here a few simple rules I can give you all who are just starting to match write and maybe refresh a few of us match writing vets.

Rule One: READ THE BIOS
This rule should be common knowledge but I can't tell you how many times I've read a match someone has written and then I go and check one of the bios and there was not a damned move in their moveset used, let alone any of their labeled 'strengths or weaknesses' used. The bios are there for a reason; they are a tool for you as a match writer to take advantage of. If a weakness is say 'fights to keep their mask on' USE that to keep some cheap heel heat if it's the face who's wearing the mask! And please, don't try and be cute and add some move you think someone should have unless you ask ahead of time and get the okay from the handler in question.

Rule Two: PACING
This is an often overlooked aspect of match writing and hell I've made this mistake myself from time to time; pace yourself in the match. Treat it like a thrill ride, build up the match, start slow and then drop them down the hill with an incredible spot but then give them time to digest what just happened and when you feel they are ready, hit them with another high. Don't make it a mile a minute 'car crash gone wild affair', slow and steady wins the race is a great quote for a reason, folks. Pace the match out, give an even number of highs and lows as to not burn out 'the fans' or the readers either.

Rule Three: Further The Angles
If any of the wrestlers in the match you are given has an upcoming match with another wrestler not in the match; have your commentators sell the upcoming match; it can be something as simple as saying that this match shouldn't be overlooked because they'll be facing Person C later on and they need to take this seriously. In fact and this is another thing I tend to skip sometimes because I'm human and can make mistakes; if Person A is set to lose to Person B... have Person C, the one they are feuding with be a cause of it. Have their theme hit during a turning point of the match where person A is in charge and that moment of disraction causes Person B to secure the win. It's simple but it's effective and you've JUST advanced an angle. You've killed two birds with one stone by doing this, really. You've given a different ending, while selling an upcoming match later on down the road. There are many ways you can help advance angles through the match though not just the one I gave.

Rule Four: Too Many False Finishes Cheapen The Real Finish
I know this rule is going to be pretty unpopular to people who love the false finish; hell I LOVE the false finish too; when its not overused. Here's the deal, the false finish loses it's luster and is cheapened if its overused on every match on the card. For me personally I'd save false finishes for big angle matches at PPV's or for the main events of the regular shows, again that's just me. For those that don't know, a false finish is often when the match looks like its over, Person A just laid out Person B with their finisher and goes for the 'winning pinfall' but right as that three is about to be registered, they kick out! It's exciting, don't get me wrong and it can get the crowd PUMPED like nothing else can; unless you overdo the damned thing. Hi Rock vs. Cena II. If you want to make a false finish not overused; if person B has a manager, have them jump on the apron to distract the ref to buy their client time to recoup while person A is 'pinning them for more than three seconds'... it builds HEAT for Person B while also not cheapening the real finish to come. Again two birds with one stone; I like them odds.

Rule Five: Arena Awareness
This one is more towards matches that don't involve 'rules', like falls count anywhere matches and the like. USE the arena, the WHOLE arena if you can. There is more to it than the squared circle, the announcer table, the barricade, the steel steps, and the ramp. You got the fan section it's self, the actual ring apron, the time keeper's bell; when was the last time you read a match where THAT was used? Yeah, get my point? The arena is your playground, use it; have fun and I bet you're readers will enjoy it; they may not thank you for it, but they'll enjoy it.

These are only a few basic rules that come to my mind. As always if I missed something, by all means let me know; I love feedback, whether good, bad, or indifferent. As always, I thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my blogs; because without you guys, I'm nothing but a guy writing for shits and giggles.

Until next time, 

-Jer

Relationships and When Enough is Enough

Often times I like to patrol e-fed boards and read rps just for the fun of it, or to see some of the talent out there and more often than not, I'm shocked by the amount of side characters I see in their work. This also includes my own home feds of SVW and FFW at least in the past; because some of the people who were guilty of the too much is a bad thing crime are no longer apart of those feds. Hell, I was guilty of it myself early on in my 'career' in this little hobby of ours... having about thirty side characters for one single character is to put it simply as overkill.

Side characters are important to the longivity of our main character's stories and are often called NPC's, which I always found to be amusing because are we NOT playing these side characters when we write them? Are they not being fleshed out just as much if not moreso than the main character themselves? But here's the thing and I honestly believe this to be true, you really only truly need about four side characters, maybe six if you want to push it a bit. You need your antagonist for sure, that thorn in your main character's side, the driving force of the story if its needed. An example of this and I'll use one of my own creations for this one. My main known characters at least now a days are Katherine Stryfe and Liam Alexander McIntyre, the brother and sister duo, and with the Katherine Stryfe her main antagonist or this case antagonists are the duo known as Charlie Evans and James Anderson; these two are the main foil in an overarching storyline I've been doing with Katherine for over two years now... if Kat's in trouble, one of those two are somehow involved. You need a good villian to the story, there is no denying this and for me, these two are just that; they are vile human beings that only want to see poor Katherine lose her mind and sucumb to the darkness and hatred that curses her family.

Speaking of family, a good side character is a family member, but you don't need the entire family involved; because again it can and often does become overkill; trying to force your readers to keep up with so many names, personalities, and the overall agendas of all of these characters can take its toll on them and cause them to burn out from memory overload. So keep it simple, we don't need the great aunt Betty or the long lost uncle Bart. In fact unless the family member is going to be a big deal going forward, never bring them up... ever.

But what about the best friend or the rival from high school? Yeah, what about them? Do you as a the writer plan to make them a big deal in future rps you plan to write? Or are they just going to be a one-off character for this one rp you are writing because you got nothing else to write about? If you answered the second choice, don't do it... don't make us have to learn ANOTHER character just to never bring them back up ever again. I mean there is nothing wrong with the old rival showing up to try and rub salt in old wounds, but make it have a point to it if you plan to go down this road.

I read an rp here about a month or so back by a character named Neon, it was an introduction piece that showed flashbacks to her past and introduced some characters she herself had bullied. This would be the exception to the 'don't do it' rule because it was an intro rp for the character of Neon, it showed us, as the readers why she acts the way she acts. Now, I'd love to see in future rps a resolution of these past characters as a building of the Neon character. Whether its her going to these characters and asking for forgiveness and not being given it because of how she treated them or them actually accepting it and seeing that Neon has changed and is honestly sorry for how she acted all those years ago.

In fact I think the 'don't do it' rule really can be forgone for flashbacks to some extent... now don't for the love of God take this to mean I'm saying make every rp a flashback just so you can create a one-off character, if you do, I'm going to groan and wish I never written this paragraph in this blog and probably cry. Do you want to make me cry? Do you?

Pets, believe it or not, pets can be considered side characters because they are very much a part of our character's lives and they can be good storytellers in their own right. Whether its a characters fear of Dogs and having to overcome it for the sake of a child having taken a likeing to a stray one that just won't go away. Hi, Valerie Lamb, give Spike a hug for me. Again don't overkill this either, unless you want to be called the crazy cat person that has twenty-six cats that live with them... don't laugh, I saw an rp once where there were that many cats living in the guy's apartement... how he was able to get that past the landlord I never could figure out.

My final point I want to make here and if you take anything to heart about this blog, it's this... a good rule of thumb is if you don't plan to use a character more than once, don't name them... hell keep them genderless, the less we know, the less we have to remember and wonder about when 'Jenny that long legged red haired waitress from IHop' is going to return to "Billy Badass's" work?

Until next time, this has been yet another random musing of Jer. Have a wonderful day or night and remember I'm reading your work even if you don't believe I am.

It's All In The Base

Dear readers of my blogs, it is I, Jer, once again coming to you with a request blog... and yes, you guessed it it's another one centered around my hobby and judging from just how many page views I've gotten, I get the feeling you guys and gals love what I'm writing, so I'll keep at it. If it's not broke, don't fix the damned thing right?

Today's blog is all about 'the base' and by that I mean the picture base in which one would give his or her creation to represent what their character looks like. Now the Pic Base to me makes or breaks the character's gimmick nine out of ten times because there are the rare exceptions to the rule much like anything in life when it comes to 'rules'. It's where the character transcends an obvious faulty pic base choice or the character stinks so bad the base choice really didn't matter to begin with. Now that we got that out of the way, shall we begin? I do believe we can.

Okay, let's say you've got this excellent character concept in mind, one you feel is going to be great and that your audience is going to enjoy reading and getting lost in the story you tell with them. You've got the height set at an impressive six feet and ten inches tall, he's a monster of a man weighing in at well over three hundred pounds of pure muscle mass, not an ounch of fat on him. You set his gimmick (personality for those not in the 'know' with wrestling lingo) to that of a man who is both frightening and impossing to all who would dare look at him; that children, men, and women would cower in utter fear of this man. Sounds great right? Oh it's great, you know it is... what could go wrong, right? Well... it can go wrong with a picture base choice such as....

Yeah, not so scary now is he? Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE Jim Parsons, I think he's hilarious in Big Bang Theory; but he's not the least bit scary, let alone would he ever make children cower in fear with his pressence. I'd say Jim Parsons would be better suited for a different gimmick all together, it's why I use him to represent the cameraman of April Evans, who happens to be a bit socially awkward and has a fear of cats. It works, trust me on that one. Now this pic base choice could also be used for a different kind of 'fear' where its the fear of the unknown, he's unassuming, you never see him coming... that 'silent fury' styled gimmick, I could see that working for a pic base choice of one Jim Parsons.

Now lets go back to your character here, you know what you've got him set at, you realize before you even send in your app that your original pic base idea is just not going to work... so what do you do? Who do you pick to represent this monster of a man that's going to hopefully in your mind be the top level bad guy in your company? You scower the internet for that perfect base and then it hits you, you find him... you find...

Much better right? He looks like a killer, he looks like he'd cause fear in the hearts of all those who stand in his way. All it takes is one mistake in choosing your pic base and you go from a great character concept to one doomed to fail because of that choice. Bane looks the part, Jim Parsons did not. Now sometimes its not that simple or obvious because of the gimmick you are looking to portray; and again its about preception. If you pick someone like Zack Ryder as a pic base but he's nothing like the 'Jersey Shore' gimmick he is in real life, it can still work in the hands of the skilled writer. Now please the next time you wish to create a character always remember this one simple rule, dear readers.

It's all in the base...

Until next time, this has been another "Random Musing Of Jer". Stay safe, keep reading and as always, feedback is much appreciated.

When Real Crashes Fiction

Welcome one and all to my second blog, and tonight's is a topic that was requested by various people within my e-fed circle of friends and fellow players. Yes, it's another e-fed blog, so if that's not your thing feel free to hit that little X at the top of your browser and be along your merry way; but thanks for the page view though. *cheesy thumbs up*

Now my topic for this blog is all about name dropping of "Real Wrestlers" in our little game of ours with our creations. For those who don't know me all that well in this circle, which as shocking as it sounds, is a few of you I'm sure, I've NEVER liked name dropping of the real world wrestlers into our game. I find it cheapens our creations, it crashes our world's 'party' so to speak and our escape from our sometimes harsh reality is taken away from us. I said this a few weeks back and someone took offense to it and for that I don't apologize for my opinion because that's what it is, it's my opinion and I DON'T sugar coat, EVER! Anyways, the comment I made was this.

"I don't care how great your work was, the second you name drop a real wrestler, you've lost my complete interest in what you've just written."

Is it harsh? Yes, it is; but its also how I truly feel and there are others just like me. Because if there wasn't, I wouldn't be devoting a blog to the subject now would I? See there is a fine line between 'subtle refrences to our real world wrestlers' and just out right saying "I'm the son of "Stone Cold" Steven Austin!" Actually, no, no you're not... because in real life, Austin has no son and our mind's whether you want to believe it or not will go to that cold hard truth and go 'bullshit, Austin doesn't have a son, he has two daughters and an adopted daughter!" and now you've made me lose all interest of ever wanting to become invested in this character.

It would also be like bringing a character into say "The Hortonverse" which for those not in the know are the feds SVW and FFW ran by a good friend of mine, Mark Horton; that's their universe and in that universe, real life wrestlers don't exist. So for the sake of this ideal, you decide to bring in a character, it looks great on paper, a solid gimmick, a great looking picture base, believable moves... the whole nine yards until I read your actually 'history' and I notice this one big and I mean BIG no-no and that is "his greatest achievement to date was being the first man to ever beat The Undertaker at Wrestlemania!" There are two problems with this and I'll explain them both in detail.

Number One: Undertaker is still undefeated at Wrestlemania, sitting at 21-0; our minds will quickly go to this fact and go, you guessed it "BULLSHIT!" It's harsh, it hurts to know it's harsh but I'm sorry, it's the truth. So now once again I'm sadly just not going to be invested in this character because I know what your first promo is going to be about and I'm going to groan, roll my eyes and hit the back key just to escape the eye torture I've just had to endure.

Number Two: This is the biggest one here in The Hortonverse at least.. YOU DID NOT READ THE RULES WHERE IT STATES DO NOT REFERENCE REAL WRESTLERS! So by default if you couldn't even follow that one simple rule; how are we as a community of handlers going to believe you'll follow the fed's other rules? You see what I'm getting at here?

I could go all night in this blog why it's simply just a bad idea to name drop real wrestlers in our game; but I'm going to leave it at this and again it's going to be harsh and you'll need to swallow this bitter pill and get over it.

There's a reason why 'Real Federation E-feds' still exist... you want to rp as "Stone Cold" Steven Austin and beat The Undertaker at Wrestlemania? Go for it in those feds and leave us poor fictional writers alone okay?

This has been another 'Random Amusing of Jer' and as always I thank you for taking time out of your day or night to read my blog. Until next time, I bid you all a fond farewell.

Am I Too Old For This?

"Yoohoo. I'll make you famous!"- Billy The Kid


I always found that one line to be very fitting for that character, I mean here you have Billy The Kid, one of the most notorious outlaws the old west had ever known; the mythos of him grew with every law he broke, every man he killed; and thus when he would look into the eyes of his next would be captor, he would tell them that one line because they'd be immortalised as the latest man to fail at capturing him.


What does this have to do with this blog you might be asking yourself, my dear readers for my first ever blog post. Well for those of you who don't know what I do in my spare time, I write in a competitve creative writing game called E-feds. Basically I write stories pretending to be a pro-wrestler on the internet. 


You can laugh...


But my brothers and sisters in this little hobby of mine know why we really do this; because its a fun little activity where we test our writing skills against one another and for the most part it IS fun. I can't deny that, I love writing; its always been a passion of mine right next to singing but that's a random aside. You know what's not fun though?


Getting buried in words.


Basically seeing the person you were placed up against just churning out work after work and you've not even began your first piece because real life is kicking your teeth down your throat; whether it be work or taking care of a sick relative that is getting sicker and sicker and you are the only one who is willing to take care of her. I'm sure one of you readers if you actually read this will tell me to get over it and to stop being 'butthurt' over it. Well I'm human and I'm not going to 'get over it'.  What happened to being fair in this game? What happened to it being the best ONE piece wins? What happened to qaulity over qauntity? What happened to the game I played all those years ago?


Sadly this isnt the same game I started out in. Gone are the various gimmicks replaced with the same cookie cutter characters in every fed I go look at. The Baddass that fears no one aka no-sells everything their opponent would have accomplished. The 'perfect' one that has NO flaws. The ladie's man that every woman goes gaga over and no woman ever tells him 'no' and are even okay with him having multiple partners. The Weed smoker that somehow never gets busted for being high and never fails a drug test... ever. 


I miss GIMMICKS, honest to god gimmicks.


I miss "The Outlaws" Gutter Rat and Leandro, the 'all or nothing' characters that instilled fear in the hearts of all that opposed them, they made you famous if you actually beat them in this game. Before Sons of Anarchy there were :"The Outlaws". Take them into a fed I'm in now though? They'd be no-sold and riddiculed because they wouldn't be 'gotten'. What's not to get about them? Seriously, its a simple yet gritty gimmick.


I miss "General Bones McCoy", another simple yet very effective gimmick and by far one of the greatest story-tellers I've ever had the pleasure of both facing and working with. He SOLD your accomplishments before putting both you and him on a pedestal so no matter who won the judging, both of you looked great. None of this 'build up to tear down' or just not build you up at all like I read now a days.


I miss "Flashman" Ashley Riot; you knew his gimmick just by the nickname; he was about being flashy in the ring and stealing the show... it worked and you want to know why? Because the man behind the character he had created was actually training to become a pro wrestler and used efeds to perfect the character he would become on the Australian indy scene. Last I heard, Mr. Riot is still living his dream and I couldn't be prouder of having watched him create the magic he did in our game.


There are many gimmicks and characters over the years I could name that I miss, but then we'd be here all night, and some I've not named because I still get to enjoy their work and read them as they are still playing it. But there are other things that make me go 'this aint the game I started with.'


It started with the birth of the off-camera... oh God how I hated that when it first showed its face in this game; because before then, it was all about who could do the best promo... but the off-camera, that was uncharted ground; a way to play the game that not many of us old guard ever saw coming and it has forever changed it. In a good way? Yes I'd say so... but the old me hated it. Because it was material that could not be used as it wasn't 'seen' by my character.


Then after the off-camera came the length of the pieces of writing we would produce. It was no longer just about doing say a thousand words and hit post... NO, it had to be nearer to three thousand or more if you wanted to stand a chance.


Goodbye qaulity over qauntity.


We had to adapt to the ever changing rules and I watched as my brothers and sisters from the past fall by the wayside because they just couldn't keep up. "The Minister", the guy who helped me out when I first started this game... he's gone, he couldn't adapt. Yet I'm still here...still fighting the ever changing landscape in the game.


"Best Piece Wins" is basically dead, don't fool yourselves. Sure there are a few feds out there that still follow that rule, but they are a dying breed... now its three piece maxx, hell I saw one where it was five maxx! How can someone compete against someone who can churn out five pieces of writing?! There is no level playing field anymore... its adapt or get the fuck out of the way. Fight and lose or just give up; like right now I'm staring at an empty doc for another piece of writing and I can't help but think 'what's the point?'


It never used to be like this... and I miss that. So my question I find that I ask myself alot lately is...


Am I too Old for this?


A part of me says yes... but then there is the competitor in me that says 'hell no...' I'm going to leave you with a qoute that my dad, who doesn't know I exist by the way said to his doubters when he left to persue his career choice of an actor...


"You suffer for your art."


Think about that, dear readers.. and have a good night or morning.


-Jer