Let me preface this by telling you that overall I'm happy with my life. I got a steady job that pays my bills and allows me the luxary to enjoy my hobbies from time to time. I have amazing friends both out in the real world and on the interwebs. But there is something missing in my life and with me realizing that I'm about to turn 30 in 34 days... yeah, I'm starting to get that fear I'm going to become the one thing I never wanted to become.
That bitter single man that is doomed to be forever alone and honestly I feel I'm the one to blame for this. I wasn't single a year ago, I had someone I truly loved and saw myself marrying; we won't go into details of why that ended because honestly its in the past and she and I are better off now. I'd dare to say we are much closer as friends then we were during the final year of our relationship.
It's not for a lack of trying to move on, lord knows I've tried... and tried...and tried... only to run smack into a brick wall in some shape, form, or another. First one was at a friend's house warming party; she was beautiful, witty, and overall we hit it off to the point it was one of those so real it was unreal connections. Yeah that's fine and dandy had it not been for the fact she lives out of state... and she was the ex of the friend who's house warming party it was. Yeah... moving on.
Others would pass, none worth really mentioning, outside the batshit insane one I met off a dating website. NEVER again, oh God never again. Pictures can be a lie, folks, I learned THAT the hardway.
Recently there was this girl at work I was truly interested in and in the most poetic 'Fuck, Jer' moment the universe EVER pulled on me; she seemed interested in ME but before we could even get past that awkward feeling out phase, she was let go for having a tongue ring... fuck you, Walmart, and 'fuck Jer' because he was stupid enough to NOT ask for her number... and on the off chance she happens to catch this blog some how...
Leah, thanks for the Resse Cup and I'd like to go out for coffee sometime; you know where to reach me.
Yeah like THAT'LL happen; it'll just be another "Fuck Jer" moment. Just like it's 'Fuck, Jer' that tonight a friend of mine let it be known he was talking to a new girl that I just so HAPPENED to be interested too. Starting to see the trend here? I know I sure as fuck am.
Lets not even get started on someone else I have my eye on; that'll never happen so its not worth trying, I just know it. Too much alike, too 'perfect' so to speak. My 'equal' if you will when it comes to the battle of wits.
Sorry for this rant, I just had to get it off my chest. I promise my next blog will be about our little efed hobby, hopefully. Until then, this is Jer saying good night and Universe...
Can I PLEASE catch a break?!
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